Trendy marketing makes me gag

I hate texting, don't own a television and swear by my walks in the woods, yet through this little venture I've been forced to invest heavily in Borg technology. It's bad enough I had to add a phone line at the store so telemarketers could harass me in the wee hours of the morning, but now I find myself confined by the insidious trappings of web market mechanisms. Facebook is literally one big add. From time to time it gets poked and prodded to look like the user has more control, but that's really not the case. You are either forced to suffer their sidebar adds, or worse-make them go away by providing free market research. The trouble is, you've unwittingly enhanced their ability to accurately profile you...so now, Facebook knows that I'll be going to Gathering of the Vibes even before I do. Blogging sucks equally, especially when combined with Google Analytics. It gives you way too much to think about, and it becomes a slightly narcissistic indulgence every time you see how many people read your posts. Plus, it's fun to cheat...try dropping a post on craigslist or any number of your other soul/time-sucking marketing apperatii, link it back to your blog, and boom! Your numbers go through the roof. Twitter, on the other hand, is nothing more than a voyeuristic indulgence. Don't get me wrong, I love spontaneity, but Twitter begs compulsion and immediacy, which is why they allow you to post from your cell phone via text message. For example, if I had Twitter a few days ago, I would have been furiously "tweeting" away on my phone as my delightful neighbor berated me earlier in the week...


...mark my words, by 2020 we'll be detaching usb cables from our babies instead of umbilical cords!

Watch me relax on telephone lines and drop gifts on car windows at:
http://twitter.com/IndieMarket