Sunday, February 27, 2011

Town Meeting Day Update

An important Town Meeting Day message from the Jonesville Underground:


Mary Houle

First on the chopping block is sociopathic board member and convicted felon, Mary Houle. Labile and bizarre, Mary’s actions as a Richmond selectboard member have been the subject of several newspaper articles which note her for inciting board divisiveness. Additionally, she has no moral qualms engaging in voter intimidation; a fact that I can personally attest to. Mary has attended academies and institutes to further her education as a board member, however she probably would have been better served taking an ethics or anger management class. Mary doesn’t represent the community, she represents a small group of conservative, white, homophobic and self-interested individuals.

Angela Côté

The most important thing to know about Ms. Côté is that her sister is Cara LaBounty, Richmond’s most litigious character. Many of you may be familiar with Cara’s antics from attending a selectboard meeting or from reading this blog. Angie will be little more than an information gatherer and glorified mouthpiece for her sister’s nefarious activities. Imagine the conflict of interest around executive sessions. Do you trust Angie not to share confidential information with Cara and her compund-dwelling cronies? I certainly don’t. Furthermore, in her candidate’s statement, Angie all but states her intention to return the board to a divisive tenor and pursue the interests of Cara & Bruce LaBounty and Isaac Cowan.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Dogs fear The Houle!

Great bit of humor I have to relay from yesterday's farmers' market in Richmond...

Local selectboard miscreant, Mary Houle, wandered through the market space on the village green. She didn't buy anything, of course. Farmers' markets abound with pinko scum, toting silk-screened, up-cycled bags filled with organic produce and other anti-capitalist foodstuffs. If you still bleed McCarthy like Mary does, to support such a peaceful institution would be tantamount to treason. On her way down the green, an otherwise passive pooch began barking incessantly and attempted to bite her. Smart dog.

Just sayin'...even dogs are scared shitless of The Houle.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Dugway Roadblock

Summer is in full swing here at the Indie Market. Life is relatively quiet, save for the occasional bumbling local cop or state trooper looking to be aggravated by a lovingly belligerent proprietor. Between hiking, swimming and the occasional branding assignment, I've been content to see the store sit and grow fallow under the hot sun.

In the regular course of swimming along the Huntington River at various points over the years, I've been mildly disturbed to find that some of my long-private and secluded spots have been co-opted by bong-toting college students, a cadre of aging nudists, and families with children. Yes, it's terribly frustrating at times, but proper river etiquette requires that I make brief and idle chitchat with the offending party before flailing about the particular point of water I have deemed mine. If families are determined to stay, I begrudgingly reaffix my trunks, which in water has the potential to become a terrifyingly awkward process.

The other great presences along the river this summer include Tom Levesque, the local fire chief, and the dutiful Richmond police department. The former serves as spotter for the later, a proper and well-appointed vanguard of cruisers (usually just one), which descends upon Dugway Road to issue tickets and occasionally tase a rowdy bunch of coeds. Their actions are not completely without merit. From noon until early evening, the popular stretch is reduced to a one lane obstacle course, dotted with the occasional dreaded or heinously tattooed creature, a roving dog, or an immovable group of goateed hardbodies about to suffer traumatic brain injury; unwilling to embrace the physics of a potential steel versus skin confrontation. That said, I think there is an alternative to this roadblock.

As a local, I am perhaps embracing a bit of the Mary Houle mantra "flatlander, go home!" But I genuinely think that the sheer quantity of vehicles clogging said stretch of dirt road is truly creating a safety concern. At certain points along the way, I am confident that an emergency service vehicle simply could not pass. A ticket does not rectify this dangerous situation. However, the Richmond police department is not certainly not interested in public safety. It's a well known fact that the sheer get-off of putting pen to a fresh ticket slip is far more gratifying than working with the town administration to develop a preemptive strategy. I don't blame them-it's simple economics. Tickets generate revenue for the administration, while measured deterrents do not.

Arguably, a ticket syphons a significant amount of business away from the Bolton, Huntington and Richmond communities. Every day, the Huntington River is packed young consumers (prime and popular targets for local, police), many of whom are likely going to spend their dollars locally. If this group is ticketed en masse, it creates an immediate disincentive to spend. Nothing kills the afternoon beer and pizza plan or a trip to the farmers' market like a big fat ticket. Granted, I've never actually been cited for parking along the river, but as the local gestapo's favorite public enemy, I can certainly empathize with being subject to their misguided approach to "protect and serve." Lord knows they've driven by my car on multiple occasions in a white-knuckled rage, wishing that I was just another inch further onto the road.

I think the best solution could be achieved through a collaboration between local businesses and the town administration. There are undoubtedly a slew of cost-effective means to encourage safe parking and local spending. It really would be a win-win scenario instead of the current lose-lose. Obviously, I think that a ticket should be paired with a tow for serious obstructors, but the town certainly ought to take the opportunity to properly educate its river-leaping guests. Bottom line, emergency vehicles still need a way to make it up the road, and a ticket simply doesn't solve that. Even if there isn't an official way to fix the problem, I think that enterprising local businesses could help to encourage safe parking and direct business their way a the same time.

Stay shiny Richmond!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Independence Day

Happy 4th of July, neighbors!

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all backyards are created equal, that they are endowed by their Deed with certain unalienable telling state and local authorities to shove it while attempting (and completely failing) to cite you with trespassing.

Stay Shiny Richmond!

Monday, May 3, 2010


newt friend on the Catamount Trail

After this morning's completely rude and inappropriate visit from the Richmond police on behalf of the ever-unimaginative neighbor provocateur, Isaac Cowan, I decided to clear my head with a woodland stroll. It did the trick! Seeing newts in vernal ecstasy is a real treat.

Get vernal Richmond, it's springtime!

of coffee and cops

Not surprisingly, Isaac is back to his usual business of harassing neighbors through the all-to-eager-to-oblige Richmond Police Department. Didn't they learn a damn thing from last year? I guess it's time to put 'em through their paces again.

Stay tuned-we're undoubtedly gearing up for an interesting week at the LTCM.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

return of the underground

...looking forward to some spring time antics :-)

Stay shiny Richmond!