Armed with a can of SPAM, selectboard malcontent Mary "The Hooligan" Houle quelled a gathering of Conservation Reserve Fund insurgents at last night's selectboard meeting. Slamming her pen against the table, as if wielding Thor's hammer, Houle announced that she was "leaving the meeting. " She proceeded to her timeout chair in the hallway before returning as a member of the audience. The baffled group could only describe her behavior as "poor form." Without a quorum to vote, the meeting proceeded uncomfortably for some time. Houle, channeling the will of Hugo Chávez on a coca induced hunger strike, forced the meeting to continue until 5AM, before returning to the table for her can of SPAM. She then forced the group to watch her consume the can, in its entirety, before moving to adjourn. Eric Filkhorn seconded the motion.
I highly recommend that everyone watch this theatrical performance on MMCTV this weekend or grab a DVD copy at the Richmond Free Library. After watching the last half hour (when it gets interesting) ask yourself one simple question: who the hell voted her onto the selectboard?