Town Meeting Day Update

An important Town Meeting Day message from the Jonesville Underground:

DO NOT VOTE FOR MARY HOULE OR ANGELA COTE!

Mary Houle

First on the chopping block is sociopathic board member and convicted felon, Mary Houle. Labile and bizarre, Mary’s actions as a Richmond selectboard member have been the subject of several newspaper articles which note her for inciting board divisiveness. Additionally, she has no moral qualms engaging in voter intimidation; a fact that I can personally attest to. Mary has attended academies and institutes to further her education as a board member, however she probably would have been better served taking an ethics or anger management class. Mary doesn’t represent the community, she represents a small group of conservative, white, homophobic and self-interested individuals.

Angela Côté

The most important thing to know about Ms. Côté is that her sister is Cara LaBounty, Richmond’s most litigious character. Many of you may be familiar with Cara’s antics from attending a selectboard meeting or from reading this blog. Angie will be little more than an information gatherer and glorified mouthpiece for her sister’s nefarious activities. Imagine the conflict of interest around executive sessions. Do you trust Angie not to share confidential information with Cara and her compund-dwelling cronies? I certainly don’t. Furthermore, in her candidate’s statement, Angie all but states her intention to return the board to a divisive tenor and pursue the interests of Cara & Bruce LaBounty and Isaac Cowan.

Dogs fear The Houle!

Great bit of humor I have to relay from yesterday's farmers' market in Richmond...

Local selectboard miscreant, Mary Houle, wandered through the market space on the village green. She didn't buy anything, of course. Farmers' markets abound with pinko scum, toting silk-screened, up-cycled bags filled with organic produce and other anti-capitalist foodstuffs. If you still bleed McCarthy like Mary does, to support such a peaceful institution would be tantamount to treason. On her way down the green, an otherwise passive pooch began barking incessantly and attempted to bite her. Smart dog.

Just sayin'...even dogs are scared shitless of The Houle.

Dugway Roadblock

Summer is in full swing here at the Indie Market. Life is relatively quiet, save for the occasional bumbling local cop or state trooper looking to be aggravated by a lovingly belligerent proprietor. Between hiking, swimming and the occasional branding assignment, I've been content to see the store sit and grow fallow under the hot sun.

In the regular course of swimming along the Huntington River at various points over the years, I've been mildly disturbed to find that some of my long-private and secluded spots have been co-opted by bong-toting college students, a cadre of aging nudists, and families with children. Yes, it's terribly frustrating at times, but proper river etiquette requires that I make brief and idle chitchat with the offending party before flailing about the particular point of water I have deemed mine. If families are determined to stay, I begrudgingly reaffix my trunks, which in water has the potential to become a terrifyingly awkward process.

The other great presences along the river this summer include Tom Levesque, the local fire chief, and the dutiful Richmond police department. The former serves as spotter for the later, a proper and well-appointed vanguard of cruisers (usually just one), which descends upon Dugway Road to issue tickets and occasionally tase a rowdy bunch of coeds. Their actions are not completely without merit. From noon until early evening, the popular stretch is reduced to a one lane obstacle course, dotted with the occasional dreaded or heinously tattooed creature, a roving dog, or an immovable group of goateed hardbodies about to suffer traumatic brain injury; unwilling to embrace the physics of a potential steel versus skin confrontation. That said, I think there is an alternative to this roadblock.

As a local, I am perhaps embracing a bit of the Mary Houle mantra "flatlander, go home!" But I genuinely think that the sheer quantity of vehicles clogging said stretch of dirt road is truly creating a safety concern. At certain points along the way, I am confident that an emergency service vehicle simply could not pass. A ticket does not rectify this dangerous situation. However, the Richmond police department is not certainly not interested in public safety. It's a well known fact that the sheer get-off of putting pen to a fresh ticket slip is far more gratifying than working with the town administration to develop a preemptive strategy. I don't blame them-it's simple economics. Tickets generate revenue for the administration, while measured deterrents do not.

Arguably, a ticket syphons a significant amount of business away from the Bolton, Huntington and Richmond communities. Every day, the Huntington River is packed young consumers (prime and popular targets for local gestapo....er, police), many of whom are likely going to spend their dollars locally. If this group is ticketed en masse, it creates an immediate disincentive to spend. Nothing kills the afternoon beer and pizza plan or a trip to the farmers' market like a big fat ticket. Granted, I've never actually been cited for parking along the river, but as the local gestapo's favorite public enemy, I can certainly empathize with being subject to their misguided approach to "protect and serve." Lord knows they've driven by my car on multiple occasions in a white-knuckled rage, wishing that I was just another inch further onto the road.

I think the best solution could be achieved through a collaboration between local businesses and the town administration. There are undoubtedly a slew of cost-effective means to encourage safe parking and local spending. It really would be a win-win scenario instead of the current lose-lose. Obviously, I think that a ticket should be paired with a tow for serious obstructors, but the town certainly ought to take the opportunity to properly educate its river-leaping guests. Bottom line, emergency vehicles still need a way to make it up the road, and a ticket simply doesn't solve that. Even if there isn't an official way to fix the problem, I think that enterprising local businesses could help to encourage safe parking and direct business their way a the same time.

Stay shiny Richmond!

Independence Day

Happy 4th of July, neighbors!

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all backyards are created equal, that they are endowed by their Deed with certain unalienable Rights...like telling state and local authorities to shove it while attempting (and completely failing) to cite you with trespassing.

Stay Shiny Richmond!

newts!

newt friend on the Catamount Trail

After this morning's completely rude and inappropriate visit from the Richmond police on behalf of the ever-unimaginative neighbor provocateur, Isaac Cowan, I decided to clear my head with a woodland stroll. It did the trick! Seeing newts in vernal ecstasy is a real treat.

Get vernal Richmond, it's springtime!

of coffee and cops

Not surprisingly, Isaac is back to his usual business of harassing neighbors through the all-to-eager-to-oblige Richmond Police Department. Didn't they learn a damn thing from last year? I guess it's time to put 'em through their paces again.

Stay tuned-we're undoubtedly gearing up for an interesting week at the LTCM.

return of the underground

...looking forward to some spring time antics :-)


Stay shiny Richmond!

Far Side of The Market, Part 3

Wicker by a waterfall

I'm fast forwarding a bit here. Last week was too fun! The weather was great and I had my first opportunity to munch some early trout lilies on the Catamount Trail and drink from the springs up on Robbins. The taste of snow is already gone from the water, which is a delightful surprise.

Breakfast of black beans, quinoa, and eggs

I really like to play around with comida típica, often finding ways to combine it with farmhouse standards. This dish is black beans and quinoa with onions, apples, arugula, and some eggs with goat cheese. I really enjoy simple dishes that get the job done.

Wicker and Oakley on Lookout Mountain

Pack nap

The creatures have been put through their paces now that the weather is nice again. We generally stuck with 3-6 mile treks depending on the winter temperatures, but now we are all back up to our usual 5-9.

POOF!

Another glorious tradition of spring is naked hiking! I recommend that everyone, everywhere give it a try. It's a peaceful way to challenge the puritanical public ordinances in your respective communities. It's a lot more fun than regular hiking unless you are about to traverse a field of briers. In those situations, I always advocate clothing.

Far Side of The Market, Part 2

Spafford's

In early fall, we were set to drill. The dudes were in place. It was brief moment of excitement...not to last, however.

Donation slips at Jacque's in Huntington

It was a turning point in the project. One that allowed me to set the store aside and focus on tertiary objectives. The LTCM isn't about corn-laden consumables or cheap beer-it's about community. I pitched an idea to the Richmond Food Shelf and sponsored the project with the help of designer Shawn Patrick Rice. It's been a joy to see how successful its been for them.

3rd week in October

I planted some tiny raspberry plants in the spring, and they shot right up, much to my surprise. They continued producing until the last week of October!

Wicker Robbins, 11 months old

Friends were mostly back to school and I was starting to go a little stir crazy, so I decided to participate in some canine respite. His name is Wicker and he is a white shepherd and husky mix.

Wicker catches a grouse for dinner

We had some epic adventures throughout the fall and winter, during which I discovered his many talents.

We were joined from time to time by a neurotic luck dragon (labradoodle), Oakley.

creature pile

Not surprisingly, everyone got along with Sir Carl.

Far Side of The Market, Part I

Gillette Pond

Things have finally dropped below a fever pitch here in Jonesville, and these days the only thing bubbling over is my sourdough starter. Lately, I've been engaged in a bit of digital housekeeping, and amidst the desktop rubble, I discovered some great memories from the past year. It's been an interesting reflection on how I chose to navigate the clear absurdity of life at the LTCM, when not otherwise engaged in slinging mud, setting traps, and fighting dragons.

Sir Carl of Wickett

Perhaps the most important individual for you all to meet is Sir Carl of Wickett. He's my pet gremlin, who I discovered in the stairwell of my apartment on the corner of Church & Main in Burlington. Malnourished, covered in fleas, with respiratory and eye infections; he was the perfect oddity. Having the keystone apartment in Burlington does require an appropriate mascot, and Sir Carl appropriately fit the bill.

Sir Carl of Wickett

He quickly became a local legend after escaping from an open window on the second floor, dropping directly into the late night fray of a typical Saturday. From eyewitness accounts, we learned that he spent the night boozing his way around town before shooting up some ungodly substance on the back steps of City Hall. Two days later, he eventually wandered into the Contois, where he was discovered by a group of thespians.

Wheat Beet Dough

The forerunner project that launched this whole mess with the store was a brief, but successful pie venture, Backcountry Pizza. I ran my small wholesale operation out of the Green Grocer until it closed doors in early spring. A lot of folks like to work with unique topping combination, but my big thing is crust. I've always felt that not enough people like crust enough to finish it, so that's where I wanted to focus my energy. Toppings were far from arbitrary, as they were largely informed by what type of base they were being paired with. Fan favorites included the cider rye, maple kabocha, and wheat beet.

Catering Prep

I catered a wedding in early fall. It was great to feed over 125 people, using only Vermont products, save for a spot of King Arthur flour. All of the meat and veggie toppings were sourced in Huntington, where the event was held. The total cost of ingredients, from Gleason's to Grafton ran shy of $300, an impressive feat considering the quality, variety, quantity and source of each product.

Richmond goes radioactive for the holidays

HMC2-a local marketing agency reputed to provide "holistic marketing solutions," has just produced a shiny new ad campaign intended to "help" Vermonters understand the "facts" about Vermont Yankee. Their "fact" page spins a delightful fallout scenario of what could happen if the state decides not to re-license the outdated and damaged facility…rioting in the streets, skyrocketing heating bills, and Vermont will no longer be considered a "green" state…are you kidding me?

HMC2's nifty little campaign fails to acknowledge that our state's unnecessary dependence on Vermont Yankee has hindered renewable energy development for years…you know-the projects intended to reduce your electric bill, stabilize and sustain the economy, create jobs and reduce global climate change.

But it's cool-I have to step back on a pretty regular basis and remind myself that I live in a town where half of the selectboard fears a productive discourse, our hometown gubernatorial candidate is as quiet and conventional as the Cheerios I ate this morning, and despite our region's firm commitment to sustainable, entrepreneurial and innovative ventures-our state rep won't say "no" to a crumbling nuclear facility...I guess having a marketing agency that supports global warming is pretty much par for the course.

Mary Houle: The Secret Socialist

Armed with a can of SPAM, selectboard malcontent Mary "The Hooligan" Houle quelled a gathering of Conservation Reserve Fund insurgents at last night's selectboard meeting. Slamming her pen against the table, as if wielding Thor's hammer, Houle announced that she was "leaving the meeting. " She proceeded to her timeout chair in the hallway before returning as a member of the audience. The baffled group could only describe her behavior as "poor form." Without a quorum to vote, the meeting proceeded uncomfortably for some time. Houle, channeling the will of Hugo Chávez on a coca induced hunger strike, forced the meeting to continue until 5AM, before returning to the table for her can of SPAM. She then forced the group to watch her consume the can, in its entirety, before moving to adjourn. Eric Filkhorn seconded the motion.

I highly recommend that everyone watch this theatrical performance on MMCTV this weekend or grab a DVD copy at the Richmond Free Library. After watching the last half hour (when it gets interesting) ask yourself one simple question: who the hell voted her onto the selectboard?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Exciting news from the land of Richmond! Sarah Messier's day of tormenting this town are through. With Mary Houle collared, her attack dog proverbially put down, and a pending announcement regarding a new town administrator, it seems that things are slowly returning to normal. With the SLAPP-happy crowd down two golden girls, I'm excited to see how this increasingly ineffectual group plans on remaining valid in this brave new world.

Stay shiny Richmond!

http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009911260307

Hail to the chief, Part II

The advanced article was great news, but the second one has the most entertaining comments:

http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009911120313

I particularly love the "VTValues" and "2gd4u" posts. In my not so humble opinion, I think the folks who claim they represent "values" and speak on behalf of the "taxpayer" out themselves as the most self-motivated, bigoted, morally bankrupt, and unimaginative bunch of featherless parrots to squawk about the green mountains. As someone who actually pays taxes, I'm ready to see this bunch fly south, so we stop wasting community resources on their whiny conspiracy theories, false accusations, and system manipulations.

...just an observation on the anonymous Freeps comments...can't get SLAPPed for that ;-)

Hail to the chief

Took your sweet time, but damn-it's the best news I've heard coming out of Richmond in a long time...

http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20091111/NEWS02/91111018/Richmond-Police-Chief-to-stay-in-post

Thanks again to those who organized the petition and those who signed it. Glad to know our selectboard finally remembered we have leash laws in this town...



Stay shiny Richmond.

¡Viva la Revolución!

join the revolution.fill the war chest.ring the alarm.buy the gear.


.do it here--->http://jonesvilleunderground.bigcartel.com/


and when you get done with that-"fan" us on Facebook!

Jonesville Underground issues (content removed)

(content removed), Isaac Cowan showed up yesterday morning, (content removed), following through on his (content removed) appeal.

As such, the Jonesville Underground has issued a (content removed):

(content removed)

Communist rag readers vote Mary Houle #1!

After rising through the ranks of the Seven Days "most popular," Mary Houle finally landed the coveted number one spot (a tenure the LTCM enjoyed back in August). Seizing upon her newfound status as "cult curmudgeon," Houle announced her comeback tour in the form of a statewide media blitzkrieg. Kicking it all off in Jonesville, Ms. Houle sat down with LTCM web editor, Jack Rebedeau, for an exclusive interview:

LTCM: Mary, what prompted you to effect the resignations of several town officials?

Houle: Moral superiority, Jack. I am the only one who cares about this town, clearly. I donate flowers for god sakes! FLOWERS! I don't recall any of my selectboard peers getting their hands dirty for this town. Liberals don't know how to garden, and liberals don't even come from Vermont!

LTCM: Speaking of all things garden related, we've heard that you are still seeking an audit of the Richmond Farmer's Market. Why is that?

Houle: Anytime a business, be they non-profit or for-profit, receives stimulus funds they are accountable to my administration. After I finish gutting the market, I'll be conducting audits of every business to receive a benefit from those funds. If Toscano's lets so much as one strand of pasta go beyond al dente, or On The Rise runs out of breakfast roll-ups before I get there, consider them all as good as closed. And the next time I go into Film Buzz for a VHS, they better have 'em!

LTCM: What do you see as a next step for this town? We're coming out of the recession, the bridge has re-opened, and the town is looking more comprehensively at an economic development strategy. How do you see it all coming together?

Houle: I don't. After I finish knocking off the public officials and town employees I dislike, I'll be dissolving all boards and the police department, creating a regional authority. Acting as sheriff-imperator, I will return the area to a more traditional set of rural standards.

LTCM: Well, thank you for your time Ms. Houle. We humbly submit to your will and wish you the best of luck in your scorched earth approach to community development.

Will the town please spring for a selectboard exorcism?

After reading Ken Picard's Seven Days article on Richmond's very own selectboard zealot, Mary Houle, I decided it was time again to address her directly:

Mary hun, if you don't want to be "painted as the town SOB," stop acting like one. It's a pretty simple concept. You're a smart cookie, so I'm sure you can wrap your head around it. You are guided by a deeply perverted vision of localism, manifesting in your repeat behavior of stepping out, and often over your selectboard peers to deliver messages of moral sanctimony to the community. Everyone is tired of hearing it.

You eschew the ethical guidelines of your post and in the process, alienate the community you claim to represent. You "expect honest answers," yet you are perhaps the most adept in avoiding accountability and an honest process. In your erratic rants on taxpayer dollars, budget tightening and sparing expense, you seem to have deliberately avoided owning the huge costs you have levied against the Richmond taxpayer. Some champion you are! How much time and resource have we wasted on your manic quest to ruin the reputation of our former town administrator? How is it that months after his departure you can't seem to let it go? Everyone observing this situation from the outside recognizes how absolutely dysfunctional your process is. You are fevered, and a classic villain to be sure.

As someone who refers to her peers as "Little Hitler, Marxist and crybaby," I find it beyond amusing that you can't even see the irony in your "cry wolf" response to my weblog. Cyberbullying? No darling, it's called punditry. You are an elected public official, no? Keep doing what you do-rattle your saber, raise your hackles; turn under the full moon. I'll be calling a spade a spade until the day I get buried by one. If you think the waning days of your tenure are going to be a smooth sail, think again.

A Houleoween treat for Richmond

Seven Days on Mary Houle's reign of terror:
http://www.7dvt.com/2009mary-houle-rescuing-richmond-or-ripping-it-apart

...don't forget to read the origin story for a little context:
http://www.7dvt.com/2009jonesvilles-long-trail-community-market-raises-its-freak-flag-8212-and-neighbors-ire